all i want is a room of my own. is that too much to ask?

don't worry, i've not given up hope. i just wish i didn't look at the room and then be told that they don't want a third roommate after all. such a tease, you know? because i got all excited about the possibilities, and was thinking about how i could rearrange my things...

keep calm and carry on
shit will work out, it always does.

argggggggggggh

the room i saw is a no-go for right now, so i am back to square one.

i will not let this discourage me.

let's talk about how good i feel...

i feel REALLY FUCKING GOOD. there is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, but it doesn't feel like a bad thing, at all. in fact, i am really excited to see what life holds for me in the near future. i think i've been in a stagnant spot for so long that i forgot what it feels like to have a LIFE, to do things i want to do, to be creative and share it with other people, TO LAUGH, TO DANCE.

maybe it sounds cheesy. but in a way, i feel reborn.

now if only i could find a room of my own...
the turquoise typewriter & the new(old) desk are a match made in heaven.

i am as impatient as a patient lady can be.

i have determined that seasons are crucial to my happiness.

oh yes.
now i recall...

november is when the branches return,
and the partly cloudly mornings can rip my heart right out my chest.

must remember to keep up the stomping and clapping.

i suppose it's important to remember
that i needn't share everything at all times.

i can be selfish with my words now.

i should do this more..
so much is in transition.
i carry the carpet bag everywhere.
this gypsy lifestyle, though tiring, is exciting, for now.

i looked at the room in mission hill. the room is huge.
the vibes of the apartment were practically perfect.
i want to make it my home, now. i am still waiting for the good word. i need to make cozyspace that i can create in. i feel all these juices moving about, i need to direct them.

yesterday was halloween, and jenny & i went to haverhill to junk shop. we did not dress up, we didn't go to parties. we did make chili, drink beer, wear masks, and play awesome music w/ the boys. there was a lot of foot stomping and laughing. also, part of her birthday present was a bonnie-cleaned apartment. i figured i owe her, since she has been letting me crash on her couch whenever i need to, which averages to two or three nights a week, almost... PLUS if you are going to be lame and old and skip out on holiday celebrations in lieu of staying home and getting silly with a few close friends, it's best to do so in a clean home, with a few candles for ambience.

i showed up to work an hour early today, because i forgot to set the time back an hour on my phone. oops. even though i certainly could have used another hour of sleep, i am glad that i get to skip out of work before the sun goes down. and i think on my drive home, i will work on song lyrics.

shit's getting good. finally.

too much is happening, getting back into the swing of life...

playing music, wearing masks, cooking food
eating sweets, drinking coffee, writing songs
planning photos, carving pumpkins, dancing in kitchens
brushing my hair, keeping things happy

it's all working.
i am feeling positive and truly great.

heading back into the city ASAP... the break was nice, sure, but the drive is getting to me, and i want to be close to my friends. i am going to check out a room in a place on thursday. i think this will be better than the last place. FINGERS CROSSED.

look for the bright spots and keep on following

things to help you out along your way

- pork products
- rubbing cat bellies
- music music music
- friends who make you laugh
- neverending coffee

i feel the seasons changin'
and imma changin', too.